3 Secrets to Being the Best Leader: What are your Employees Worried About?
Regardless of the various roles we play in our lives, from neighbor to friend to coworker, we have been taught that covering up our true thoughts and emotions is easier and more acceptable than communicating how we truly feel.
Fortunately, familial and other close relationships often develop into a deep bond of intimacy where both people express their true selves. However, at work, this isn’t often the case. In a work context, you might experience emotional distance between yourself and other organizational members. This emotional distance can be exacerbated by social norms like professionalism and emotional labor. We perform emotional labor anytime we are guided to portray emotions contrary to what we truly feel in order to fit a particular social context.
Sometimes, the restrictions we put on ourselves in order to behave in a socially-acceptable way can be harmful rather than helpful. This can be especially prominent at work, where we may push away our fears and sadness so others don’t consider us weak. As a manager, it is up to you to ensure that your employees feel comfortable coming to you with their struggles.
So, how do you motivate teams to break free from norms that create an emotional barrier at work and grow into becoming a more compassionate manager?
Strip Away Your Own Facade
The first step to getting to know your employees on a deeper level is by allowing them to know you as a person, rather than just as their manager. One way to do this is to be open with them about your own life. For instance, if an employee complements a picture of your child at your desk, you can share a time your child made you laugh or something your child is struggling with that has been hard for you. By sharing your own personal joy and pain with your coworkers, they will have more courage to share deeper aspects of themselves with you.
Ask Your Employees Questions
Another useful way to learn what your employees are struggling with is to simply ask! Your employees may have concerns regarding the ability to complete work assignments or staying strong during family difficulties. Start with your common ground-by inquiring about any work-related concerns your employees may have.
One way you can show you care about them is by asking them if they have any stress or concerns regarding their assignments. It’s important to pause long enough to give them the opportunity to voice their qualms and visible dysfunctions. If your employee does have a work-related concern, it is helpful that you:
Validate your employees’ concerns by being a present listener
Tell them that you are there for them
Offer them resources such as helpful websites or coworker support
These three steps may also be crucial when learning about difficulties that may be projected in your employees’ work. It tends to start with issues present in your employees’ personal lives, such as: managing a family member’s illness, being agitated from working in a small, chaotic space from home during the pandemic, or anything affecting their mental wellness at home.
Be Open to Presence, Vulnerability, and Compassion
When you think of the best leaders, presence, vulnerability, and compassion should be the first attributes that come to mind. Though power, determination, and competition might be the forefront image of a typical leader, a shared understanding between colleagues can be the most impactful. Relatability, which can be fostered through presence, vulnerability, and compassion, is a key ingredient to fostering community across your organization.
When a person feels supported by their community, they can better share their concerns and access the resources available to them. This can create an incredible ripple effect which has the power to:
Lessen the suffering of the individual
Strengthen compassionate relationships across organizational members
Build the company on a foundation of genuine care and community, which the world must continue to turn to during the pandemic and beyond
There is no true leadership without empathy; motivate your team’s success and guide a generation of change by living in their shoes.
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