Time for Change.

By Tami Shaikh

Pride month is when the LGBTQ2+ community celebrates its triumph over hate and their rights in many domains of the law, but it also makes me think of the ones that still struggle not only in daily life but also in the workplace.  

A few years ago, I was a teacher in Dubai, UAE. I witnessed luxury, infinite glamour, and the rise of the tallest buildings in the world. But the reality in Dubai is different. In fact, it often upset me that a place that advertised diversity, inclusion, and a modern lifestyle would not allow people to be who they are and practiced irrefutable discrimination towards specific cultural backgrounds but especially the LGBTQ2+.

One of my colleagues at the time, who identifies himself as LGBTQ2+, led a discrete life there due to the country’s strict laws against it. Being gay or practicing any sexual relationship outside of the heterosexual norm is considered a sin and can be punishable by death, deportation, or flogging. Other than to his allies, my colleague wasn’t able to express who he truly was. I remember an issue that stirred the gossip wheels of our workplace when someone had seen him at the mall holding his boyfriend’s hand for a split second, so they reported him to the management. This friend was an incredibly hard-working individual, constantly gathered praise, and was up for a promotion to become a manager. But when management suspected his sexual orientation, he was let go of his job. My friend had to leave overnight back to his war-ravaged home country to avoid prosecution in a foreign country.  

A few years after that, I moved back home to Orange County, California, to fall into another disturbing story. I thought people in LA would be more open and accepting. I started working at an organization with eight who identified as women, three who identified as men, and one individual who identified themselves as non-binary and used them/their pronouns. People constantly made fun of them behind their back and would say inappropriate and unkind things. One day in a meeting, my boss addressed this individual using the wrong pronoun, so they reacted. Other co-workers jumped in and tried to tell them that it was not such a big deal with a smirk on their faces, followed by demeaning jokes and laughter about the unimportance of pronouns. This person left the meeting and eventually quit the organization.  

Both these events took place about eight years apart. However, both times I felt sick to my stomach and couldn’t work for a few days. My productivity suffered, and my mental and emotional health was a mess. I wondered how I could fix the situation. But truthfully, there was nothing I could do, and to me, that was even worse. It was kind of like I was a bystander in a bullying situation where I sympathized with the prey but gave in to the power of the abuser. That guilt and shame lived within me for a long time.

These incidents brought me to the conclusion that no matter how inclusive or diverse we believe our workplace is, there is still a considerable stigma attached to people who do not identify with societal norms of sexuality. This kind of discrimination is not new to the workplace, but it needs to be addressed. For centuries people have discriminated against other races, older people, immigrants, people with disabilities, etc., and now they have added another group to this list.

But the truth is when a work environment is not diverse, non-inclusive, and non-accepting of all, it can become toxic. I feel selfish even saying that these two experiences were traumatic for me because I was not the victim. Truthfully, in a work environment where people are not allowed to be who they are, everyone suffers. There is always a dark cloud that hovers over the workplace, and it engulfs all who are in that environment, including LGBTQ2+ and their allies.  

The world is evolving, and we need to evolve and grow with it. LGBTQ2+ members have reached esteemed positions in politics, laws, academia. It took them a long way of sufferance, sacrifice, and dedication to get to where it is. They are striving in countries like Canada, Holland, Germany, but in a country that praises itself as the world leader,  LGBTQ2+ communities are still facing discrimination in the workplace and they need our support, they need it now.

Our author, Tami Shaikh, is an avid storyteller and has written her own publications focused on following your heart such as “Detox Your Soul- A 30 Day Roadmap to Loving Yourself,” “The 11th Step,” and “Ocean in a Drop.” In addition to this, she writes for Chicken Soup For the Soul, The Huffington Post, and Medium. She believes that sharing our truth is the key to healing, and we believe so, too. 

Thank you Tami Shaikh for sharing your story!

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